some april 08 thoughts

doing some searching for a new church here in Florida.

This is the 2nd straight week i feel like i heard a sermon i myself could have preached when i was 5 years old. It makes me wonder why God put me through extensive spiritual weight training but i still can't find the reason why.

what i am saying is.... smuggling Bibles into China... dying in Ireland... breaking the legalism in the USA... the wars i've fought spiritually and yet i have to go to church on sunday and listen to sermons that i preached in my PJ's from a fake pulpit when i was 6 years old.

I am asking God "what the heck"

but i get so annoid by people who take soooo much pride in their "ministry"

when you start making tshirts and bumper stickers... you've got a hobby not a "ministry"

but at the same time... i have come through sooo many spiritual battles that maybe it's time to start passing some of that on... but at the risk of being arogant and prideful ...

God why did you stick me on a little island in the atlantic for 2 years... in a convent none the less!! Watching members of the Chinese mafia in Hong Kong weep in the street when the Holy Spirit moved on their hearts... yelling at you God while holding a beer in a cemetary outside the convant in Dublin..... will any of that stuff ever make sense? Was it just to do a radio show and raise a couple kids and a wife to know you?

heck.. you and i both know how fake i am!!! But i guess through that mirage... use the war scars you gave me.

i almost have to laugh... us humans must frustate you. if you weren't in love with us.... i think you'd be long gone.

from Oprah saying you don't exist because she misread some scripture as a kid... to some of the Christians who listen to my radio show that think they are more holy than you....

in the end i just want to stare at a star filled sky.... i'll hear your song in my head... i don't need a church bulletin or an elder to pull that off... i feel the desire to speak out the universal word "Hallelujuah" more when i gaze at the beauty you created then when i walk into a man made ministry.

you oh God are good... you are the creator of Love... laughter... hope... life